Laugh therapy

April 4, 2016

982

Fun facts and sayings

In Japan, Ronald McDonald is called Donald McDonald due to a lack of a clear “r” sound in Japanese.
Ronaldinho’s deal with Coca-Cola ended after he was caught sipping a Pepsi in a news conference.
If you search for “askew” in Google, the content will tilt slightly to the right.
There’s a “DUMB Starbucks” where every product has the word “dumb” in front of it.

51% Of People Think Stormy Weather Affects Cloud Computing.
7% of religious Americans pray to God about finding a good parking spot.
55% of Americans think they are smarter than the average American.
35% of American workers said they would forgo a pay raise in exchange for having their boss fired.

In the U.S., there’s an official Rock Paper Scissors League.
Leonardo DiCaprio’s name is Leonardo because his mother was standing in front of a Leonardo Da Vinci’s portrait when he first kicked.
In the USA, there are more Chinese restaurants than all the McDonald’s, KFCs, Burger Kings and Wendy’s put together.

In Spanish, the word “esposas” means both “wives” and “handcuffs.”
When Montenegro became independent from Yugoslavia, its Internet domain name went from .yu to .me.
Charlie Chaplin once lost in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.

My neighbors are listening to great music. Whether they like it or not.
Sometimes I drink water – just to surprise my liver.
I didn’t fall down. I did attack the floor though.
It is important to make breaks between individual exercises. I personally stick to breaks of about 3-4 years.
Hearing voices in your head is normal. Listening to them is quite common. Arguing with them – acceptable. It is only when you lose that argument that you get in real trouble.

I’m not lazy. I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.
If a man said he’ll fix it, he’ll fix it. There is no need to nag him every 6 months about it.
Money alone won’t make you happy. You’ve got to own it.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that your urge to pee intensifies as you are unlocking the door.
I had loads to do today. Ah well, so now I have loads to do tomorrow.
Of course you’re not fat. Just grab a couple of chairs and come sit with us.
If you kept yelling for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would produce enough sound energy to heat up a cup of tea.

At any given moment, about 0.7% of the people in the world are drunk.
It takes an average person 7 minutes to fall asleep.
Our ears and our nose never stop growing.
The human heart can squirt blood to a distance of 30 feet.
Orange juice tastes bad after you’ve brushed your teeth because the toothpaste blocks the sweetness receptors on your tongue.
People spend an average 22 years of their life asleep.

Q. Why do anime fans listen to the radio in the morning? A. Because they enjoy car toons!
There’s a blond and a brunette in a car. The brunette is driving while the blonde is in the passenger seat. They’re going down a steep hill when the brunette realizes that the brakes don’t work. The brunette tells the blonde that the brakes don’t work and they will drive off the side of the cliff because they failed to stop. The blonde then replies, “Don’t worry! There’s a stop sign ahead.”
Q: Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends? A: Because he is a pain in the neck.
Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.

Why do the French like to eat snails so much? A. They can’t stand fast food.
A boy breaks on old vase at a rich uncle‘s house. The uncle gets extremely angry and yells: “Do you even know how old the vase was? It was from the 17th century!” The boy sagged in relief: “Oh, good that it wasn’t new.
A man goes to the lawyer: “What is your fee?” Lawyer says: “1000 US dollars for 3 questions.” Man: “Wow – so much! Isn’t it a bit expensive?” Lawyer: “Yes, what is your third question?
My wife is a bit weird. She always starts her talking with “Michael, are you listening to me?”

What did the judge ask when he went to the dentist? “Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?”
“Little Jonny, why did you put your teddy in the freezer?” “I would like to have a polar bear.”
An eskimo brings his friend to his home for a visit. When they arrive, his friend asks, puzzled – “So where’s your igloo?” “Oh no, I must’ve left the iron on…”
In a boutique: Could I try the dress in the shop window, please? I’m sorry madam but no. We have cabins for that.
What did one candle say to the other? I’ll be going out tonight.
How come the barber won the race? The cheater took a short cut.