Even if you, personally have not yet lived through the situation of dating one of your coworkers, just bear in mind that it’s never too late. There is probably an unwritten law somewhere about dating someone you work with and it has a huge “no” attached to it, but sometimes we fall into temptation.
In my case it happened really slowly and then one day we realized we were dating, the label just appeared out of nowhere and there it was. Out stigma came into existence. The good part was that by the time our relationship came to an end neither of us was working at the same spot any more. But imagine if we were…
I am not saying that dating a person you work with is definitely a bad idea just that it’s best if you think things through before jumping into anything. There are some steps, more like tips, that you can take a look at before planning your next date with your cubicle neighbor:
1. Think twice before making a move
As I already mentioned, before jumping into anything, give it a really good thought. I know Jake from the next cubicle might seem hot and witty but what if after three dates you end up hating each other?
What if Jake has some hidden issues that you end up loathing? And all that is fine but imagine having to avoid Jake every single day of your life after a nasty break up.
Not so much fun, right? But the worst part is when you cannot avoid Jake because you have to work together on some project. Awkward silence….
2. Set some rules
I know setting rules at the beginning of a relationship is not exactly the definition of a peachy start but think about it: do you want the rest of the office to constantly see you and Jake talking? Do you want to become the main gossip sponge of the company?
I don’t think so. For instance, you could try avoiding to work at projects together, as much as it’s possible. Avoid giving the appearance of the “happily married couple” at the workplace. I don’t need to mention not to show your affection in public at work, right?
3. Think of the moment it comes out
Given that you are going to date for a while, the relationship won’t stay a secret forever. So it’s best to think beforehand of that moment when everyone will be aware of your secret. You could try talking to your superior about this before he would hear it from anyone else, explain how the relation is not going to affect your work.
4. Pay attention to your position
Even dating someone who you don’t directly work together with might be an issue but imagine dating someone you manage directly, or who manages you. That’s a double no. also, there surely is an HR policy in place for each company, so before jumping into anything, try talking to the HR people and see what they advise.
5. Don’t become dependent
My relationship for instance started going astray while we were still working together but I guess, looking backwards now, that none of us wanted to admit defeat because we didn’t want to deal with what happens after the break up. But staying in a relationship that is not the answer for neither one of you just because your workplace ties you together, another no.
All in all, the decision obviously lies in your hands but the main advice is to think it through before it’s too late and see the matter from as many perspectives as possible and assess whether it’s worth it or not.
I mean, there are chances that you meet your soulmate at the workplace, no denying, and being totally against the idea from the very start is also not a good standpoint.